Can Self Confidence be Learned?
One of my friends recently suggested
that self confidence can make or break you. She said that two different people
could tell the same story, but the audience believe one more than the other if
the story is told with confidence. I realized how right she was. I looked up
this subject to find out what others said about this idea.
I found a few video clips on
confidence that were good for the point I am trying to make. In one clip Dr. Ivan Joseph says that self confidence can
be a learned quality just by using “Repetition, Repetition, Repetition,” Joseph(2012).
He suggests that we must keep practicing the task at hand until we have
mastered it. He then asks “how many of us bail after the first bit of failure.”
He uses Thomas Edison as an example. Edison
tried somewhere between 1,000 to 10,000 times to invent the light bulb. Joseph points out that it is very uncommon to
get something right the very first time. If Edison had not kept trying we might
still be without lights. Dr. Joseph goes
on to say that we should call it persistence not self confidence. Many people will
try something once or twice, but very few will persist Joseph(2012)Then he
talks about the inner voice in each of our heads.
He talks about a “self- talk tape
that plays in our heads” (TEDxRyson,2012).
Sometimes that self-talk tape is negative, and if we hear it enough, we
will start to believe it. He says “that there
are enough people who tell us that we can’t do it, that we’re not good enough.
Why do we want to tell ourselves that?” Another website talks about “What Does
Your Inner Voice Say” (Self-esteem ,n.d.)
This is a website that also presents information on self-talk.
Positive self-talk is vital to self confidence. I have experienced
negative self-talk, and know how it can affect me. When I get overwhelmed, I tell myself that I
can’t do whatever it is that I am trying to do. Then I start believing what doctors
have told me all along that I can’t learn because of my injury. Heather Taylor,
the coordinator of the McCann writing Center at Bethany College, told me to stop telling myself that I can’t. She said that if someone else told me that I
could not do something, I would get angry and say “Watch me”, and do it just to
spite them. Her words made me realize
that I should knock it off and get refocused when I start negative self-talk. That
actually worked. It does sound funny, but doing it works.
Dr. Joseph’s next suggestion is to “get away from the people who will tear
you down.” He says that because everyone
around you will tell you when you make a mistake, you should not be too hard on
yourself (TEDRxTyson2012). Instead, you
should tell yourself kind things, be positive, and focus on everything you do
right, no matter how large or small.
David Rutherford suggests that, “Everything
we do in life requires passion and commitment (2013). He explains that the
greater your passion and commitment for something, the greater you will perform
the task at hand. He also says that we
do not need to separate our personal lives from our professional lives. (2013).
If you are truly passionate about your professional life both of these will
bleed together.
Self confidence gains people’s trust
in what you are talking about. If you believe in yourself you will exude
confidence which is very attractive to other people. By being persistent, stopping the negative
self-talk, getting away from negative people, and having passion and
commitment, self confidence can be enhanced.
References
Rutherford, David(2013) Navy SEAL Motivational speaker David
Rutherford’s Confidence Event Trailer. Retrieved from
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CPY8X1Xdf54.
TEDxRysonU(2012) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w-HYZv6HzAs
TEDxTalks Dr. Ivan Joseph-The Skill of Self Confidence. Retrieved from http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w-HYZv6HzAs.
University of Texas at Austin Counseling and Mental Health Center
(2013). Self-Esteem.
http://cmhc.utexas.edu/selfesteem.html
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